There was a popular worship song several years ago written by Matt Redman called “The Heart of Worship.” He was leading worship at his church and they were working through a topical series on the theme of worship. Here’s how the lead pastor explained what happened, “With a spanking new building, a congregation wearing combat trousers, a PA system that cost thousands and links with the summer festivals, some might have thought that worship-wise, a Church like [ours] had it [all].”
Lots of good ministry was taking place… but at some point, they realized that something was “off” about their worship. They wrestled through how to pinpoint the problem because on the surface everything seemed fine… the musicians were well-adjusted… the instruments sounded great… the sound guys were never late to practice… Worship leaders picked quality songs that the body enjoyed… they had created the ideal atmosphere for worship.
Here’s what the pastor concluded, “… we seemed to have lost the spark. We seemed to be going through the motions, but I noticed that although we were singing the songs, our hearts were far from him.” He continues, “Then it clicked; we had become connoisseurs of worship instead of participants in it… We had made the band the performers of worship and ourselves the audience. We had forgotten that we are ALL the performers of worship and that God is the audience. We had forgotten that sacrifice is central to biblical worship.”
They were challenged to ask themselves, “When I come through the door of the church, what am I bringing as my contribution to our worship?” And, they wanted every church member to ask the same question. From that posture, they found the answer that worship is not a spectator sport… it is not a product molded by the tastes of the consumers… it is not about what we can get out of it… At it’s core… it is all about God.
With this realization, came some drastic action… they banned the band… they benched Matt Redman! They wanted to learn not to rely on the music led from the stage – so asked the church to come prepared to share their own form of praise. Some of their gatherings were spent meeting in silence because no one had a sacrifice of praise to offer. After some weeks of terrible awkwardness, the church started to bring prayers, readings, thanksgivings, praises and songs… sometimes it would start acapella and the whole church would join in, then another song would start… they were not spectators any longer… they were communing with God. With all the comforts stripped away they worshipped from the heart.
After they learned this lesson, they brought the band back. During this time of silence, Matt wrote the song “The Heart of Worship.” – “When the music fades, All is stripped away, And I simply come. Longing just to bring Something that’s of worth That will bless Your heart. I’ll bring You more than a song. For a song in itself is not what You have required. You search much deeper within, Through the way things appear; You’re looking into my heart. I’m coming back to the heart of worship, And it’s all about You, All about You Jesus. I’m sorry Lord for the thing I’ve made it. When it’s all about You. All about you Jesus.”
I see Jesus doing this same sort of thing here in the sermon on the mount – challenging his audience to get back to the heart of the matter. From verses 21-48 we see one line keep popping up, “But I say…” Jesus is showing an obvious contrast between what was being practiced… the norm for the day, and His teaching. He’s using the Old Testament as a starting point, but recognizes that the religious leaders of his day have missed the point of what God had in mind. They were interested in rule-keeping to look good – but their hearts were far from God.
Let me give you a little background. The Jewish leaders of Jesus time actively debated what it meant to follow the law. In fact, they had a book called the Mishnah – a VERY thick book that you can read today — that chronicled debates between rabbis about everything from what it meant to “keep the Sabbath holy” to allowable reasons for divorce. If you were to read their debates, you would marvel. To be sure you didn’t work on the Sabbath, they defined just how far you could walk before it counted as work. Then, to clarify further, they specified that if you carry a pack, you can only go “half” that distance. So, if you want to go see Grandma on the Sabbath and take something you’ve made, the solution was easy. Carry the “pack” halfway the day before and leave it there. Go home. Sleep. Get up on the Sabbath and walk to your pack. Pick it up there and go the rest of the way. See? You haven’t worked! They were concerned about the technicalities of keeping the law, not the heart.
We laugh – and we should.
But, Let me key you in on a well-kept secret… the same can be true for people today … it can be true of you and me. We too can appear great on the outside, to say the right things at the right times, and do the right things when others are looking, and check all the religious boxes, and follow all the right rules, and maintain a nearly spotless image… and in all of that still have a rotten heart.
Jesus is taking us back to the heart of worship in the sermon on the mount… he’s opening the hoods of our hearts and doing an inspection. He’s not interested in the paint job; he’s going to shine the light on the engine, show us the condition of our hearts, and as he does, he’s going to show us what life is supposed to look like in the kingdom of heaven—the life that He came to make possible. He’s gonna show us the life He lived.
And, in the process, he’s going to call us back to the garden – to the life God intended us to live before sin entered the world — because he designed us to flourish when we do. No doubt, from the beginning of time, God has given us commands – but he did not do that to burden us or set arbitrary rules. God’s commands – whenever they are given, are given for our benefit. They are commands that speak to the heart. He knows that our world would be a better place – that each of us would flourish – if we would choose to love one another deeply, refuse to abuse others for their own gratification, replace anger with reconciliation, honor our marriage vows, and raise our kids in loving homes that model healthy conflict resolution, forgiveness and love. The point is simple. As we study our text, remember the goal. Jesus is calling us to be HIS people in this world – people who model garden life.
To get his audience to understand the heart of God, Jesus takes on six topics in this section of Jesus’ sermon. We’ll be covering them in 3 weeks. Brian started with the first topic last week. Here’s the overview:
| Topic | Traditional Righteousness | Kingdom Righteousness |
| Anger | Seek containment | Seek reconciliation |
| Sexuality | Don’t cheat on your spouse | Don’t lust in your heart |
| Divorce | Use the court system | Stay Married |
| Truth | Tell the truth when under oath | Tell the truth always |
| Injustice | Respond by getting even | Respond with grace |
| Enemies | Hate them | Love them like God has loved you |
Jesus’ teaching here is absolutely revolutionary. This is not simply another religion; this is deeper righteousness than anyone had ever thought possible. This is what life in the kingdom of heaven is supposed to look like. This is the heart of worship.
In our text for today, Jesus talks about waging war with sin (especially lust), divorce and marriage, and being a trustworthy person when it comes to what we say…
Let’s read the text (NASB) and then tackle today’s topics one-by-one:
27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; 28 but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 Now if your right eye is causing you to sin, tear it out and throw it away from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, [s]than for your whole body to be thrown into [t]hell. 30 And if your right hand is causing you to sin, cut it off and throw it away from you; for it is better for you [u]to lose one of the parts of your body, [v]than for your whole body to go into [w]hell.
31 “Now it was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away is to give her a certificate of divorce’; 32 but I say to you that everyone who [x]divorces his wife, except for the reason of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a [y]divorced woman commits adultery.
33 “Again, you have heard that [z]the ancients were told, ‘[aa]You shall not [ab]make false vows, but shall fulfill your [ac]vows to the Lord.’ 34 But I say to you, take no oath at all, neither by heaven, for it is the throne of God, 35 nor by the earth, for it is the footstool of His feet, nor [ad]by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. 36 Nor shall you take an oath by your head, for you cannot make a single hair white or black. 37 But make sure your statement is, ‘[ae]Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no’; anything beyond these is [af]of evil origin.
Clearly, this text not only challenged the religious culture of the first century but also our culture today. In a world saturated in sexual inuendo and messages that encourage us to focus on being happy, commands to radically avoid lust and commit to marriage for a lifetime are foreign. But they are given for our benefit. So, let’s dive in. For reasons I hope to make clear as we go, let’s take these topics in reverse order.
OATHS – Look again at Matthew 5:33. It starts with something good. The leaders taught the people to fulfill their vows.
“Again, you have heard that the ancients were told, ‘You shall not make false vows, but shall fulfill your vows to the Lord.’”
In other words, when you say, “I swear to God,” it had better be true.
But then, Jesus raises the bar on that standard. He says, “make no oath at all” – instead, let your yes be yes and your no be no. Be people of integrity. Tell the truth. Keep your word.
Jesus calls us to pay what we vow… be trustworthy with your speech… which directly connects us to the middle section… I don’t think its any accident that Jesus has a teaching on divorce and marriage right before a teaching on being honest… do you think that when Jesus is talking about making promises, that His words would rightly apply to those who say, “I do”?
Marriage and Divorce
Look again at Matthew 5:31, ““It was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce’…”
In other words, in the words of religious leaders of his day, if you don’t want to be married any more, it’s no big deal. Do it the legal way: go to the court and make it official with the paperwork, so that your former spouse is legally allowed to remarry someone else. Again, most people could reasonably live up to that standard, but Jesus wants so much more. And raises the bar.
Mattew 5:32, “…but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
Let me start here… this is not an easy text. It is personal and intimate. It is not some classroom discussion on a theoretical topic… divorce has affected so many lives – likely many in this room. It’s a topic that requires so much careful consideration and wisdom in addressing it. And I know that no matter how I present this some people will accuse me of being too soft and others will accuse me of being too harsh… I should have switched this week with Brian.
So, I know, I cannot do it justice today. In trying to understand it, people have debated what counts as adultery, who is free to remarry, what to do now if you divorced for another reason, and on and on we could go. We would need hours of time in a classroom where we could respectfully listen and study all the implications of this teaching. Since we can’t do that, I want to spend our time focusing on Jesus’ primary goal and how to apply it in the real-life context we are in. The way we each hear this will often depend on our own position in life. Some of you are single and will, hopefully, use this to frame your search for a spouse. Others are married and happy – or married and unhappy. Some are divorced. Some are remarried. Some are kids of divorce and wondering what this means for their folks. I believe there is an application for all of us.
My approach is to share the main themes that we know to be true…. Please know, I want to do my best to preach the text with truth and grace. And if the balance of truth and grace is needed anywhere, it’s certainly needed here.
As we start, it’s necessary we understand the context here. Jesus was talking to people with a long history with God’s law… along with distorted teachings of God’s law… a people who just wanted to check the box but neglect the heart behind obeying YAHWEH. We know there was a legalistic spirit among this crowd. And we also know that the crowd was torn between two schools of thought. One crowd embraced divorce for burning the toast or because a younger/prettier model came around (literally; it is in the Mishnah along with all those rules on the Sabbath!) … while the other crowd only allowed divorce due to adultery. They functioned a lot like we do… eager to get the seal of approval, or two thumbs up for what we want to do anyway… they would just find a teacher that shared what their itching ears wanted to hear… Jesus is not a teacher interested in soothing itching ears. He’s interested in calling people back to the heart of God.
To get the full picture of what Jesus was doing here, we can turn to a parallel passage found later in Matthew. There, Jesus give us more insight into both the heart of his listeners AND his goal. Here’s what He says in Matt. 19: 3-6
3 Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?” 4 And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no person is to separate.” 7 They *said to Him, “Why, then, did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 8 He *said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. 9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
When Jesus is asked about divorce in Matthew 19, His response is to uphold God’s design for marriage… in the beginning God made them male and female… and that’s why a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the TWO WILL BE ONE FLESH… therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate. In saying this, he combines parts of Genesis 1 and 2 and builds a theology of marriage as it was designed and practiced in the garden. God designed us to live as one – for life.
The Pharisees, then, ask a question, not because they care about the answer but because they want to trap Jesus. In doing so, they reveal their hearts – hearts that would twist scripture to justify their own selfish goals. The question: why did Moses “command” that a man give his wife a certificate? To which Jesus replies… Moses permitted you to divorce because your hearts were hard… but, it was not this way from the beginning…
Jesus saw right through them … and frankly through their ancestors who begged Moses to relax God’s standard. But, instead of congratulating them on following the rules, he called them back to the beginning – back to God’s design – a design Jesus’ knew well because he was there!
So… what were things like in the beginning?
- Life in the garden was a life of flourishing… humans had everything they needed to thrive… all they wanted to eat and drink, safety, communion with God. They were called to meaningful purpose… to steward creation… and they were called to deep relationship… to be ONE flesh in marriage…
- When one man and one woman are committed, each works for the betterment of the other. Men love their wives – care for and nurture them as their own bodies… women respect their husbands and thrive under their leadership of the husband… they both use their unique gifts and callings to serve the betterment of the whole… children are raised with the security of knowing both parents will be there and that no one is walking away. I think that’s what things were like in the beginning…
What are things like now? We are all well aware… when we get away from garden living, relational destruction can wreak havoc on families for generations…
- We see hurt, betrayal, brokenness, the headache of parents fighting over children, fighting over holidays, fighting for affections… we know full well the terrible fruit of divorce. And, that helps us understand the wisdom of Jesus’ teaching.
If we could stop right here, we would walk away with the knowledge that Jesus is teaching that God’s design is best. But, it would leave us with a lot of unanswered questions about what we are to do with all the broken pieces around us and within us. I won’t be able to answer all the questions but will do my best to answer the ones I can.
So … What do we know? What are we to do?
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- First, we know that God’s design was for marriage to last – and not just last, thrive! God hates divorce (Malachi) because of what it does to us and those around us. But, meaning what we say… especially with the “I dos,” – means much fear and doubt is wiped away. Both man and wife are free from the threat of divorce to focus on how to build a lasting and healthy marriage. If you are here and you are married, commit to that marriage. Do whatever it takes to build a thriving relationship.
- If your marriage is good right now – celebrate and never let up! Marriage is a lifelong commitment. See it through. When hard times come (and they will) remember that marriage is an incubator for Godly character.
- If your marriage is hard right now, roll up your sleeves and go to work. I want those in struggling and failing and stuck in stagnant marriages to get help. Humble yourself, admit that things are not just peachy, and get to the root of your problems because marriage is not something to be trifled with, taken lightly, or idly tossed to the side. God has a heart for this, so fight for what He has brought together.
- Second, we know that God does not ask something of us that he does not model for us. All you have to do is read the Old Testament to understand that God understands the pain of relationship – the pain of betrayal. Time and time again, Israel rebelled, yet he kept calling them back. In forgiving their sins and ours, He has modeled the same steadfast love and forgiveness required of us to keep a marriage going. If you are in a hard marriage, as you contemplate the cost of the hard work of forgiveness and reconciliation, remember what God has done for you.
- Third, we know that we have a God who can raise the dead, which means that he can heal broken marriages, and he can resurrect dead relationships. If you are in a relationship you believe is beyond repair, trust in that God. Ask Him to exert His power in your life and in the life of your spouse.
- Fourth, if you are here and unmarried, please, please, make your choices carefully. Would you choose wisely? Go in determined to work hard and be faithful. Remember, marriage is a covenant, not a contract.
- First, we know that God’s design was for marriage to last – and not just last, thrive! God hates divorce (Malachi) because of what it does to us and those around us. But, meaning what we say… especially with the “I dos,” – means much fear and doubt is wiped away. Both man and wife are free from the threat of divorce to focus on how to build a lasting and healthy marriage. If you are here and you are married, commit to that marriage. Do whatever it takes to build a thriving relationship.
- Fifth, if you are divorced – especially for a reason other than adultery – I want you to know that Jesus loves you and wanted relationship with you so much that he would rather die than live for eternity without you. All throughout his ministry, he sought out the broken to bring hope and healing. He took people in the state they were in and called them to follow him. When he spoke to the Samaritan woman at the well in John 4 who had had 5 husbands and was living with another, and when He pardoned the woman caught in adultery in John 8. He shows mercy and calls them to repentance… He commanded her to “go and sin no more.” In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul urges people to stay in the marital state they are in when they come to Christ and do what is right from there.
- Finally, And I wish I didn’t have to say this, but I think I do… for those in situations of abuse… if you are in a dangerous situation… I want you to find safety… and I want you to take time to heal personally and devote yourself to prayer. Pray for your spouse every single day… and let the Spirit of God work. Let Him work.
So, whatever state you are in —
- Build from there.
- We can’t go back and change the past, no matter how much we wish we could. We can make Godly choices now. Whatever you’ve done, bring it to the cross of Christ – confess, repent, be baptized if you haven’t already, pray. Scripture shares that God listens to a contrite heart.
As we do these things, we participate in God’s mission on earth. As the world sees us love when it is hard to love, forgive when it is hard to forgive, serve when it would be easier to walk away, the world gets a glimpse of the God who could love them in spite of their failures and repeated mistakes… Just as God fulfilled His covenant with Israel – in spite of their practice of adultery.
John Mark Comer once said, “We’re called to a very specific kind of work. To make a Garden-like world where image bearers can flourish and thrive, where people can experience and enjoy God’s generous love. A kingdom where God’s will is done “on earth as it is in heaven,” where the glass wall between earth and heaven is so thin and clear and translucent that you don’t even remember it’s there. That’s the kind of world we’re called to make. After all, we’re just supposed to continue what God started in the beginning.”
Single, married, divorced, remarried… [point to quote] that’s what we pursue now moving forward. We pursue God’s purposes for our lives and this world… striving to see heaven on earth realized.
We’ll end our time with Jesus’ words at the start of this section… and boy does it fit in nicely with what we’ve already covered. This one will help with the other two…
Sexuality
Matthew 5:27, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’”
If that was all that sexual integrity required [just NOT cheating on your spouse]… we would probably be in pretty decent shape. I imagine a lot of people could stay between those lines. But once more, Jesus wants so much more.
“…but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” V 28.
Satan attacks the church in its loins and he’s gaining much ground. Often those caught in this trap will say with surprise, “We just don’t know how this happened.” Which tells me that we have not listened well to Jesus… adultery takes place long before two bodies ever touch. Kingdom righteousness is not just avoiding the physical act. A person can, out of sheer willpower and a basic sense of integrity, avoid cheating on their spouse. Jesus wants his followers to avoid the visualizing of and the meditation on anything explicit. He not only wants our hands to be pure, but our hearts and minds as well. That’s a high standard, and only His transformation of our hearts can bring that about.
To show us how serious he is about our commitment to purity, he says, “If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell.” V 29-30
Better to lose some limbs than to lose heaven. Missing some extremities in heaven is better than your full body being in hell. Sacrificing an eye or hand is nothing compared to the depravity of hell. Better to lose one part of your body than to lose everything! Now, to be clear, Jesus is not calling us to mutilation or self-harm. He doesn’t want anyone to hurt themselves, but he’s giving us a powerful example of to what extreme we should take our commitment to purity. We should be more committed to sexual purity than we are to keeping our body intact. It’s not about avoiding a “big sin”; it’s about the desires of our heart. I can guarantee you, it is going to be hard to build a healthy marriage if your eyes and heart are elsewhere. So, pursue a good heart!
Practically speaking… wage war with your sin. Like maybe get off social media if it takes your mind to unwanted destinations… sleep with your phone in a different room… maybe even get a dumb phone… spend time with other friends who don’t lead you into debauchery… don’t be alone with a person of the opposite sex who isn’t your spouse… you get the idea, right?! Make the necessary sacrifices in order for purity to be part of your story!
You might be saying, “Joe, you’re being a little extreme here.” Well not as extreme as Jesus!
I want you to focus on Jesus Christ because He is the one that will make your sinful desires fade, He is the one who took all of your sin, and it is by His power that your sins will be overcome.
Be radical in dealing with your sin – whether that be lust, a temptation to walk away from your marriage (or give it less than your best), or the temptation to stretch the truth – to say what you need to look good while hiding a heart of sin. Focus on your relationship with the Lord and take the necessary steps to avoid your temptations. Follow Jesus with your whole heart. Jesus is not teaching us how to be slightly better people and he’s not showing us how to become religious. He’s teaching an entirely new way to live.
C.S. Lewis once said: “When I invited Jesus into my life, I thought he was going to put up some wallpaper and hang a few pictures. But He started knocking out walls and adding on rooms. I said, ‘I was expecting a nice cottage.’ But he said, ‘I am making a palace in which to live.’”
That’s what Jesus wants to do in our lives, and it becomes possible because he changes us from the inside out. In Ezekiel 36:26-27, God said, speaking of the ministry of Jesus, “‘I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.’”
His grace is great enough to forgive us where we fall short, and it’s powerful enough to transform us and call us to a revolutionary way of life.